Being more independent is a goal that many people seek. It’s essential for you to define what that means for you. Do you want to be free of outside influence from your parents, your spouse, or even the government? To gain more independence, you’ll need to conquer these three things first.
Independent people tend to know who they are deep down. When you really know what you stand for and what you hope to achieve in your life, you’ll be better at everything. You’ll be happier, less conflicted, and even demonstrate more self-control avoiding social pressure to be different.
Knowing yourself means that you know what your values are, can define them, and know how to make decisions that live up to your personal values. For example, if you have a value of being financially fit, you won’t misuse credit cards because you know that is not a sign of your values.
Everything else flows from your values. If someone asks you to do things that go against those values that you already know what to do. You also address all choices in life with the question first of whether it advances your values or not. This can define you all the way down to the temperament you possess, the interests you have,
So many people mistake aggression as assertiveness. When someone is being assertive, they are speaking up for themselves and their values in a way that others hear because you have listened to them first. They are neither passive nor aggressive with their messaging.
If you want to become more assertive than you are, choose a few instances that you have control over so that you can change it. For example, speak up at work meetings, or speak up more to your spouse. When you work on speaking up for yourself, you’ll start feeling a lot more independent, and people will start seeing you as more independent.
While it’s nice to have people in your life to help you out with things, it’s also a good thing to be able to meet your own needs. It doesn’t mean you cannot let others fill those spaces anyway, it just means you can, and you don’t need to rely on others if you don’t feel like it.
Most humans can meet their own needs for the basics of life, such as healthcare, housing, and food. However, you should also seek to meet your emotional needs such as those identified in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs such as becoming all that you can become, being respected, having love and friendship, being safe, and then, of course, being able to provide for your own physiological needs as mentioned above.
If you can find a way to meet those needs that you have yourself, you’ve truly become independent. However, remember that humans do need others, and there is nothing inherently wrong with depending on others when it’s a choice to do so.
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